I never thought i’d be that girl. The one who gets played. Used. Now, I’m not so sure. I was different. A friend. Someone you could just hangout with. Someone you respect, or I thought. Maybe I’m overreacting. Just being paranoid and over thinking as per usual. But I can’t help but know the truth- you’re a jerk to girls. At least usually. And why should I have any reason to believe I’d be any different? Who knows, maybe I am, but I can’t help but remember I told you first, and you didn’t say it out right. But you did agree and I gave you just what you wanted. So what now? Is that it? We quietly go back to being friends and pretend this all never happened? Or am I thinking too rash? I need to know, because being stuck in my own headspace sucks.

Call it bad timing, or luck, but maybe it just comes down to fate. You blew into my life with your sexy smirk and sense of humor and I fell to your feet. We clicked instantly, and our relationship caught fire. The more I learned about you, the farther I seemed to fall.

We were far away most of the time, but we coped with what little time life had thrown us together. You were the perfect gentleman. So far from the boy I’d known in high school.

You tried so hard to make our relationship ‘normal,’ but something was still missing. We could never be normal. Being so far away kept us from ever having a real chance. I can’t be that girl waiting around for you, and for that I’ll forever be sorry. You were virtually everything I could have ever wanted in a guy and knowing that only made the distance seem farther. Through everything I can’t deny that what we had wasn’t real. I loved you every second of the way, I hope you know that, even if I didn’t.

All my love,

Jess

until he’s in my arms again. I’ve been ranting and raving for days to anyone who’ll listen about how excited I am to see him again. I couldnt be more pumped to spend time with him, I just hope he’s not disappointed. He’s spending a lot of time and effort to get here for just for the weekend I just want everything to be perfect. I want him to like the friends I’ve made and to have a good time here with me. I know he can get a little annoyed with college kids, (he thinks they’re immature, which they definately can be) so I only want everyone to get along.

I really should stop worrying. He’s coming to see me not my friends or school. I know we’ll have fun together even if we spend all day every day hanging out in my dorm.